Posts by mrfish

    Maybe better described as "I don't do but stuff" See what i did there? One 't'? A little pun? Anyway, what I mean is that everyone around me told me this was the super true way. So, let's do it! Then I got all those "buts" All those qualifiers. It's either true or it isn't. I believed what my family told me and the people I lived around, because my value system says to look to them for wisdom, respect your elders, not to question everything they say. Sometimes they're just wrong though. I've tried to deal with it respectfully. At least with them.

    That happens in my work a lot too. There are a lot of nudge-nudge, win-wink understandings, and it ruffles a lot of feathers that I don't play that way. It says be ethical, so I'm ethical. There's no buts in there, and people look at me like a damned fool saying, yeah, but you know how it is. Everyone does it. All these unwritten 'way of things' understandings. It's either the way or it isn't. Not a fan of bullshit or squirrely ideals.

    Fishy.... I have noticed that people who go overboard devote christian when they are young tend to go devout atheist later in life... I imagine is is some kind of addictive bi polar sort of thing.


    Maybe. With me it was sheer naivety. I was convinced that it was the absolute truth and it would hold up to any inspection. I didn't realize there was kind of a game about being religious.

    I was baptized Catholic because of my dad's family. After that first divorce my mom's family made sure I was baptized Methodist, because God wasn't interested in Catholics. Then I decided I hadn't been baptized at all, because they are both "sprinklers" and I got baptized a third time in a muddy red creek, fully immersed, the way Jesus would've learned in from John the Baptist. Who he followed a bit before going off on his own.

    The Bible said to forget about possessions and prepare for the end, spread the word and so on. So I did. At 12 I took off one day, left a note telling my mom not to worry, like the birds, God would put enough to eat in front of me and so on. I'm sure she probably sighed, then called some people from church to go help find me. I hadn't made it far, but was happily on my way! 100% sure it'd all work out. They had the weirdest look on their face, conflicted, telling me yeah that's what it says to do, but...

    My uncle was a lawyer, and extremely involved in his church. Always took a full pocket of business cards every Sunday. Got lots of business through church. Another family member made a point to let everyone know, discretely of course, how much he tithed. By God, if that Vernon Frame beat him he was gonna up his game next Sunday! No one out-tithed Great Uncle Bill!

    Our little country preacher was also a financial advisor. He got around paying taxes on his money thanks to the religious exemption. Used to come to my grandma's place all the time. Say flattering things about here, about me, eventually talked her into investing the money she got when she sold her mineral rights, and I don't remember a penny of that being left even 10 years later.

    I asked hard questions about inconsistencies and meaning, and all I got was platitudes and that bit about how mysterious God is and have faith and so on. I had all kinds of faith. That wasn't the problem. I was beginning to see it as a human institution, and a cultural thing. I'm paraphrasing, but Camus said something like 'We begin to be undermined the moment we begin to think.' How true. Religion is one of those illusions we cloak ourselves in as a uniform. Muslim if you're from Arabia, Hindu if you're from India, Catholic if you're from Ireland or Mexico, etc. If you confront it with an open mind, be ready to lose the ground under your feet. And to be exposed to a wide-ranging absurdity that you will see in everything and everyone still playing the game. Reality is great though, I have no regrets.

    What's awesome to me, is that everything that is, all of us, is made out of the same stuff. It's like we're the thoughts of the universe, we take form for a moment and then fade. Millions of people, some babbling stark raving mad things, and others very quiet. All like the racing mind of a universe that doesn't know itself. Popping up as a dandelion, or a person, or whatever. Then going back to the same particle stew, That's more fascinating than some angry Jewish folklore that was never even meant for us. We're derivatives as long as we're Christian. It's unmet potential and a chain to the past.

    Well, it's not a generic internet photo of a Jaguar, meant to push along my imaginary narrative of wealth and social standing, in the hopes of making my return ingratiation to buncha invisible fucking slobs as easy as my soft ass can take it.

    Carp lips.

    Heh. Well, it's not imaginary, that picture was taken in my driveway. It's probably less expensive than these custom trucks you all are so fond of, so if it conveys wealth, that's your insecurity. I think it conveys styyyyle. With 4 y's. It's sharp and pretty and powerful, just like me baby. So, in short, yeah we're watching some person put their shoes on. That's cool guy, who doesn't love watching people put shoes on? Right?

    Paul wrote a bunch of the new testament.

    OK, maybe not 'the whole'... but he does have a point.

    Paul wrote 13 of the 27 books. The other supporting entries have little credibility as sources. That leaves us with the synoptic gospels. John is great poetry, but pure fantasy. Luke is an echo of Paul. Matthew uses Mark as a source. Mark is the only book worth reading in the New Testament.

    Dude, it's a movie. I've been studying the bible and everything about for decades. It's a huge area of interest for me because of the effect it's had on my people. The first few times I read the book cover to cover was as a very dedicated fundamentalist christian. The next few times was a an interested scholar, trying to find a new perspective and answers. Don't insult me by linking a movie.

    Little pups. Lotsa wriggling and noise, but your eyes aren't even open yet. Look, that one is grimacing. He's a mad lil' pup!

    You mean this bit from Tacitus?

    "Consequently, to get rid of the report, Nero fastened the guilt and inflicted the most exquisite tortures on a class hated for their abominations, called Christians by the populace. Christus, from whom the name had its origin, suffered the extreme penalty during the reign of Tiberius at the hands of one of our procurators, Pontius Pilatus, and a most mischievous superstition, thus checked for the moment, again broke out not only in Judæa, the first source of the evil, but even in Rome, where all things hideous and shameful from every part of the world find their centre and become popular. Accordingly, an arrest was first made of all who pleaded guilty; then, upon their information, an immense multitude was convicted, not so much of the crime of firing the city, as of hatred against mankind."

    That's hardly some recent discovery! It's very likely Jesus existed, but it kinda doesn't matter really. The earliest texts of Mark end at the tomb. The resurrection story was added, and added in subsequent texts. Oh, and none of them match. Was there a lone guy, or two angels, or...?

    It reflects people, there's no divinity there. And it's weird that mostly white people from western and northern European stock would even be debating whether this Jew existed and what that means to the world. Cold case file? What, did he find fingerprints? That's so pop culture and specious. There's no weight there. And you buy that shit? Lil' pups.

    Hey that...Yeah, you are listening to Hall and Oates in the background huh? I can hear it. I wouldn't have imagined anyone could come up with the wonderful words you do while the silky voices of Hall and Oates are filling your room.

    You're outta touch(touch)

    I'm outta time(time)

    But I'm outta my head when you're not around



    Outta touch, outta touch, outta touch...

    Outta touch, outta touch, outta touch...

    Ohhhh, rowr-rowr!

    Two books by Jews and one about Jews. Awesome.

    Ponderings I-XI - Martin Heidegger

    The Foundations of the 19th Century VI & II - Houston Chamberlain

    Hellstorm - Thomas Goodrich

    Hamilton's Curse - Thomas DiLorenzo

    That's what I have next to my readin' chair currently. That and a magazine about Italian cars which actually gets a lot of play.

    Sometimes I wonder how black people can be so jesusy... when their forced conversion was so recent and documented. Hell they still have remnants of their Africa-religions around.

    But then I realize that my own people are just as stupid in that regard. Granted the Romans came and went a LONG time ago. But it's not like we don't understand what happened.

    Ignorance and fear are powerful forces.

    One of my family lines on my mom's side is the Barton family. They moved to Texas after the war between the states, from Alabama, and later to Oklahoma when it was still Indian Territory. It's like the Italian surname Bertone. It means barley tender. I can imagine a distant relative standing there in this barley field with a homemade pitchfork, on a rainy British day, watching as a monk walked up accompanied by a guy sporting a gladius and impressive aromor and said - guess what you're Christians now.

    My people value family and tradition. We make great converts because even one generation later we strive to honor those that came before us and our ways and traditions. It doesn't erase the original sin though.

    Soo... unless you are just of the atheist faith and have an agenda... why not just say you are an agnostic? I mean... you can't possibly know right?


    I used to. It seemed more logical. It caused kind of an epistemological dilemma though. I say atheist, I mean I have no reason to believe, so I don't. It doesn't mean I can prove(a negative) that there is no God. There could be lots of things, like space unicorns. Totally possible in our weird universe. I shouldn't have to take a position on every possible thing though. There's no God for practical, living in the world purposes, because there's no evidence that there is. Bit of a fine line, but it's not proving there isn't one, it's more like accepting the answer is no until proven otherwise. You have to draw the line somewhere. Believing in every possible extant thing, or leaving it as an open question isn't useful. It's not clean and direct.