Good movies anybody?

Quote from Bronk

go watch sportsball with razer.

Nice comeback.

Next thing you know he’ll be screaming ‘foosball is the devil’ at me.

Sheesh.

you sure you weren't vaxxed?

Called it.

So I watched the 1979 movie "10" with Dudley Moore, Bo Derek and Julie Andrews.

Quick Summary for the three lines that rhyme crowd: It's a movie about erectile dysfunction and closet faggotry.

Back in the day I never saw it, other than a few clips when they TV movie'd it (heavily censored no doubt). Combination of 70s nostalgia, and I wanted to see what the fuss was about Dudley Moore. Back in the day, I never once saw any of his movies, but he was very popular as a comedian for a short time in the 70s-early 80s. Oh and and of course to see Bo Derek in her absolute prime (one of the hottest chicks ever). I guess the real draw was memories of Bo Derek on posters - man she was hot.

I figured it would be pretty bad, with a bit of decent T&A. I committed to sit through the train wreck (which I figured it would be).

Well, I wasn't prepared for what a terrible movie it actually was. Painfully terrible.

Dudley Moore is the "star" of the movie and it revolves around him. There are painfully very little scenes of Bo Derek, and when they show a tiny bit of T&A, it's fleeting and over quick. Like just a quick tease. She's barely in the movie, and doesn't even show for real up until it's half over. Basically it's a movie about Dudley Moore and Julie Andrews.

I don't get Dudley Moore at all. He's an annoying unfunny British midget with bad teeth and obnoxious personality. There is nothing good or entertaining about him.

So the story ? Well Dudley Moore is a classic showtunes closeted fag. He's a music writer for movies, basically a dude who writes show tunes on a piano, and thinks he's hetero. His only friends are flaming showbiz homos, but of course he's supposed to be the only straight guy there. He's extremely condescending to his queer buddies. Oh he's not one of them!

He turns 42 and goes into a midlife crisis, which in his case means he becomes obsessed with banging young chicks. Of course, he's fooling himself, he's really queer, but won't except it. I mean he drives a fucking Rolls Royce! (the quintessential queer dream ride). I'm sure he was a Cartier watch collection too.

The funny thing is the movie wasn't meant to be made that way - they wanted a British Woody Allen type guy who wants to bang young chicks, but is so inept that he never pulls the trigger. He's not supposed to be queer is the writer's intent I think, but he's just such a big fag that he basically is a big fag.

Moore is a severely repressed perverted voyeur/stalker type with a backyard telescope, always looking down a valley at house where a bunch of free love swinger hippies are always getting it on.

So early in the film, he goes on a drive and he sees Bo Derek driving by in a wedding dress, going off to get married. He does the stalker thing and sneaks into her wedding just to get a good look at her. We're talking dirty perv in the bushes type shit. Bo Derek becomes his "dream girl", object of his obsession... (but the problem is he's really a fag).

He goes to a shrink, and admits he's having a midlife crisis, and basically quips that if he could be young again, he'd accept being a fag(!) But he insists he's straight. Even the psychologist is like WTF where did this fag stuff come from?

Julie Andrews comes over and wants to bang (his girlfriend). She is way out of his league (let's be real, and Andrews was still a looker in 1979 albeit an aging one). Moore is an annoying 5'2 British midget with bad teeth. Instead of banging her, he starts an argument with her and she leaves him high and dry. Really, it's obvious he didn't want to bang her (ok I mean it's not Bo Derek, but seriously what a fag). I would have nailed a 1970s era Julie Andrews, just to say I did... know what I mean ?.

Next, he gets really drunk and decides to drive over to the hippy shag palace, and knocks on the door - they know who he is because they know he spies on them daily and they like putting on a show. Next thing you know, he's buck ass naked with a bunch of hippies (hot young girls to boot), and... well his girlfriend is at his house watching him on the scope and he knows he's busted. How did he know ? They too have a backyard telescope and despite being buck ass naked with a couple of nubile young hippy girls, he's playing with their telescope like a disinterested faggot.

So he knows that she knows... he's totally busted.

Now instead of banging any hot young girls (hey, he's busted so WTF might as well), he runs off with his tail between his legs.

Next, he gets all fucked up, and jumps on a plane to Mexico to a resort - goes to a bar and gets rip-roaring fucked up (closeted fags drink A LOT). THis really hot 70s chick picks him up (way outside of his league, but he's a famous show-tunes guy with a couple of Oscars so he is somewhat rich and famous). Anyways, they end up in his hotel room, and... surprise, he can't get it up. She leaves devastated.

Next, it turns out Bo Derek and her husband are at the same resort. The next day on the beach, the husband falls asleep on a surboard and drifts off in the currents to the open ocean.. Moore, piece of shit that he is, sits back and lets it happen. He wants the guy to die because MAYBE he could have a chance with his wife (!?). Anyways, he comes to his senses like an hour later (or some such shit), rents a small catamaran, and goes out and finds the guy and saves his life. He's hospitalized with sunburn.

So with the husband out of the picture, he goes over to Bo Derek's suite, knocks on the door, and inexplicably she's immediately obsessed with him, they go out on a date, she brings him home and desperately wants to fuck him. I mean can you imagine ? Bo Derek in her early 20s... Of course, you can guess what happens, he can't get it up and blames it on her. She is such a cheating whore bla bla bla that he's turned off and can't get it up and leaves.

He ends up back home with Julie Andrews, they reconcile, and the movie ends with him attempting to fuck her. We all know how that that will end.

What a FAG.

Anyways, that's "10". It should be "1". Bo Derek was hot as fuck, but needs a different hairstyle. What the fuck were they thinking?

I think I'll stick to Columbo re-runs.

...

Micki and Maude is a far better Dudley Moore movie than 10...

Quote from Shuckins Deux

Micki and Maude is a far better Dudley Moore movie than 10...

Any hot naked chicks in it ?

No Nudidity, but a funny story about a guy who finds himself married to two beautiful pregnant women....and his attempts to keep it a secret from both...

"Crazy People" was also a good Dudley Moore film. It has so many good lines in it.

"Porsche... It's too small to get laid in but you get laid as soon as you get out."

"Jaguar... The car for men who like handjobs from women they don't know."

"Volvo... Sure they're boxy but they're really good cars."

"FedEx... We'll screw over anyone we have to to make sure your package gets to you on time."

"Come in Jamaica"

It's a truth in advertising statement. The best parts come when the sane advertisers try to make true commercials.

txmom A video about bad writing, editing, and directing all at once:

Big Stan.

LOL

Dudley movie I recall that I liked.... Something to do with him making a deal with the devil. Was basically a comment on religion.

Another brit actor that played in a lot of movies I liked.... He did Loreens of Arabia. But he also did b 'The Ruling Class' a comment on inbred brit royals and the whole butlery thing. Peter O'toole... name sounds like a porn star right? He is most likely gay as fuck but he makes any movie he is in pretty damn good if not a little too highbrow... but... for most here... everything is too highbrow.

lazs

Irony is.... while most here are not highbrow............... we were raised in an era where you actually could read and write proficiently when you got out of the 5th grade at worst. They did not need college courses that taught how to read and write.

lazs

Quote from lazs

He did Loreens of Arabia.

Sound like a porn movie rip off of Lawrence of Arabia.

Quote from lazs

Irony is.... while most here are not highbrow............... we were raised in an era where you actually could read and write proficiently when you got out of the 5th grade at worst. They did not need college courses that taught how to read and write.

lazs

I went my first 11 years in Northern virginia, then I went to Tampa for 12th grade after my father died. Had a science teacher asked where I grew up "it sure wasn't here because you're writing is too good"

I'm pretty sure I've watched that movie but have no recollection of that scene.

That's why it's 2 of 10 & pay for cable still exists.

Anything Keanu, dude.