It's been a long road, taking care of her over the last 4 years since she got cancer along with her 7 back and 3 neck/spinal surgeries for cancer related kyphoplasties as well as degenerating disk condition. Not to mention the broken fusions on both her ankles that they didn't want to risk reparing, making her non abulatory for most of the 4 years. I posted last year when she attempted suicide. She succeeded but I found her just a minute after she stopped breathing due to hearing her aspiration sounds, and did CPR and she breathed on a machine for a week before waking back up.
Since then, she's been in palliative care here at home, the 19 bed hospital and no hospice in her home town made palliative home care her only option, as the closest assisted living is 1.5 hours each way from her home and family support. Fuck that. So we've been taking care of her at home since then in shifts, the last 3 months since she lost the use of her arms as well meant hand feeding her food, water and meds for several months. On little to no sleep, I've been in the drone zone for the last 3months and have been awake for 4 days straight now as she'd lost her ability to take in fluids, recognize me, etc, so forgive me if I babble or make even less sense than normal.
She fought, it was 4 days of hell, watching someone who has starved to death (she lost 65 lbs in 3 months and was 85 lbs instead of her normal weight when she passed) isn't especially pleasent. I've seen enough people leave this earth in worse manners, but not the woman who brought me into this world exactly 3 hours from now 44 years ago. Not the best birthday gift I've received, but not nearly the worst, as her pain is over at last, and that's all I can ask for.
Being able to throw the odd post in here while sitting at her bedside really helped keep my mind off things, and keep me busy doing something while sitting in that chair.